Adversity And Authentic Leadership

Joanne Lockwood is joined by executive coach and strategic advisor Samreen McGregor for a wide-ranging conversation about adversity and authentic leadership, set against a backdrop of global uncertainty and everyday personal pressures.

Samreen unpacks how adversity can show up both externally and internally, and why the language and stigma around trauma can prevent people from recognising its impact. Drawing on her coaching work and research, she describes trauma as a deep “wound” that can influence behaviour, relationships, and performance over time, and explains the value of creating safe spaces where people can notice and work with these patterns.

Both Joanne and Samreen share formative experiences that shaped their sense of self-worth and belonging. They explore how childhood messages can drive perfectionism, validation-seeking, and boundary issues at work, and how these dynamics connect to psychological safety and inclusion.

The discussion also moves into identity and belonging across different contexts. Samreen reflects on growing up across cultures and languages, and Joanne shares her journey of gender transition and the ongoing challenge of feeling included without necessarily feeling a deep sense of belonging.

The episode closes with Samreen introducing her book, Leader Awakened, and her invitation for leaders to slow down, reflect more deeply, and broaden leadership beyond purely cognitive approaches to include emotional and embodied awareness.

One-sentence summary

Samreen McGregor believes our deepest wounds can become our truest source of leadership — if we are brave enough to slow down, look inward, and stop hiding behind the masks that once protected us.

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Synopsis

Samreen McGregor’s life has never fit neatly into one box. Born in Venezuela to an Indian father and Venezuelan mother, raised between languages, cultures and continents, she grew up asking a quiet, persistent question: “What am I?” Her father called her “stupid” throughout childhood — a small word with a long shadow — and she carried it into boardrooms without realising, working tirelessly to prove she was anything but. Add to this the experience of holding responsibility early, navigating identity without a clear cultural home, and later supporting a nine-year-old son through cancer, and you begin to see the map of the woman she has become: thoughtful, relentless in curiosity, unwilling to live at the surface.

She is trying to change how we relate to adversity — not by polishing resilience into a badge of honour, but by teaching people to see trauma as a wound that shapes the body, the mind and behaviour. She wants leaders to slow down, to “refract” rather than merely reflect, and to recognise that the unseen imprints of childhood, culture and crisis quietly drive how we lead and love. For Samreen, this matters because unexamined wounds spill into workplaces, families and decisions. But when acknowledged, they can free us — offering power without armour, and leadership without pretending.

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10 Small, digestible concepts for easy learning

1. A small word can leave a lifelong imprint.

Being called “stupid” shaped how Samreen worked, led and sought approval decades later.

2. Trauma is not always dramatic.

It is often the subtle, repeated experiences that leave the deepest marks.

3. Avoidance and curiosity are two responses to pain.

Healing begins when curiosity wins.

4. Masks protect us — until they isolate us.

The shields we build for safety can block connection.

5. Belonging is a feeling, not an invitation.

You can be included and still feel like an outsider.

6. Identity confusion creates hyper-achievement.

When we do not know who we are, we can over-perform to compensate.

7. Slowing down changes what we see.

Reflection reveals; refraction transforms.

8. The body carries what the mind forgets.

Psychological wounds live in physiology.

9. Leadership begins with self-honesty.

You cannot lead others safely if you are led by unexamined wounds.

10. Adversity can widen us.

When processed, it stretches our capacity for compassion and possibility.

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The “why” in the story

What they believe is true about people

Samreen believes people are far more shaped by unseen imprints than they realise — and far more capable of growth than they dare to imagine.

What they cannot unsee

She cannot unsee how childhood messages, cultural displacement and unprocessed crisis quietly drive overwork, perfectionism, boundary issues and disconnection.

What they are no longer willing to tolerate

She is no longer willing to tolerate leadership that prizes cognition over humanity — nor cultures that demand performance while ignoring pain.

What they are trying to build instead

She is building spaces where slowing down is strength, where adversity is explored rather than avoided, and where leaders are allowed to be whole.

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Narrative structure

1. The trigger

During the pandemic, working inside a major organisational transformation, Samreen recognised a collective trauma unfolding. Combined with her son’s earlier cancer diagnosis and her own childhood imprints, she realised adversity was not an exception — it was a constant.

2. The tension

She lives between worlds — culturally, professionally and spiritually. As she explores deeper healing practices, she sometimes feels alienated from corporate environments that reward speed and intellect over integration and depth.

3. The insight

Trauma is not the event — it is the wound it leaves behind. And those wounds influence behaviour far more than strategy ever will.

4. The pivot

She chose to look inward. Through personal healing, writing Leader Awakened, and embracing practices beyond pure cognition, she began encouraging leaders to pause, examine and integrate rather than push through.

5. The destination

A world where leadership feels grounded and humane. Where people understand their triggers, regulate their responses, and create environments in which others can breathe safely.

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Five key takeaways and learning points

1. Your drive may have roots you haven’t examined.

So what: understanding them helps you set boundaries instead of burning out.

2. Healing is not weakness — it is expansion.

So what: when you face wounds, your capacity to lead increases rather than shrinks.

3. Belonging is internal before it is external.

So what: no room or title will feel safe until you feel safe within yourself.

4. Cognition is not the whole story.

So what: decisions improve when body, emotion and context are included.

5. Adversity can be elastic.

So what: processed well, it stretches you rather than scars you rigid.

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Ten distinct ideas explained

1. The subtle wound

Repeated small dismissals can shape decades of overcompensation. Quiet injuries often grow loud in behaviour.

2. Inherited responsibility

Family narratives — like being “the strong one” or “the responsible one” — travel into leadership styles.

3. Cultural displacement and identity

Growing up between languages and nations can dilute certainty but increase empathy.

4. Hyper-achievement as armour

Exceptional performance can conceal fear of inadequacy.

5. Collective trauma

Events like pandemics or mergers impact physiology, not just morale.

6. Belonging versus inclusion

Being present is not the same as feeling safe.

7. The body as archive

Stress responses, fatigue and tension can be echoes of earlier wounds.

8. Refraction over reflection

Reflection shows you an image; refraction bends the light — creating a new angle of understanding.

9. Spiritual hunger in professional spaces

Many high achievers eventually crave meaning beyond metrics.

10. Compassion as leadership practice

Self-compassion unlocks patience and fairness for others.

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How people should change as a result

1. Think

• Shift from “What’s wrong with them?” to “What might have shaped this response?”
• Move from seeing trauma as dramatic events to noticing subtle imprints.
• Recognise that high performance can mask insecurity.
• Understand that leadership begins with self-awareness, not authority.
• Consider that slowing down may be the most strategic action available.

2. Feel

• From defensiveness to curiosity.
• From shame about wounds to acceptance of them.
• From urgency to steadiness.
• From isolation to shared humanity.
• From fear of vulnerability to respect for it.

3. Act

• Notice one repeated emotional trigger and trace where it might originate.
• Replace self-criticism with deliberate compassionate language for a week.
• Ask a colleague, “What helps you feel safe here?” and listen fully.
• Build recovery time into your diary — treat it as non-negotiable.
• Practise slowing conversations down rather than rushing to solutions.
• Seek support (therapy, coaching, peer dialogue) when wounds resurface.
• Model boundaries openly so others know overwork is not the price of worth.

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One thing to remember

The wound you avoid will run you — the wound you face can free you.