Authenticity Over Assimilation

Joanne Lockwood is joined by DEI consultant and former finance leader Jenny Chen for a wide-ranging conversation about what it really takes to choose authenticity over assimilation

They explore how political rhetoric and workplace norms can turn inclusion into a zero-sum fight, and why performative gestures

do little to shift the lived reality of people facing racism and sexism. Jenny shares her personal journey as a Chinese Canadian immigrant and former political refugee, and how early pressures to fit in shaped her relationship to language, identity and belonging.

Moving from story to strategy, Jenny and Joanne discuss why DEI cannot sit in an HR silo, and why employee resource groups can be misused as containment rather than change. They make the case for redesigning systems that were built for a different era, grounding the work in respect, compassion and courageous leadership that can hold difficult conversations and drive sustainable cultural change.

One-sentence summary

Jenny Chen’s story is a refusal to shrink – a belief that dignity, safety and belonging should never depend on who wins an election or who holds the power.

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Synopsis

Jenny Chen grew up between worlds. She arrived in Canada at three years old as a political refugee from China after the Tiananmen Square massacre, her family unable to return home. English came through Disney films and action movies; faith was whispered in a wardrobe, where her grandmother still prayed in secret decades after leaving a country that punished religion. She learned early that survival often means assimilation – losing language, softening difference, becoming “less visible” so you don’t stand out. As a Chinese Canadian woman in finance, often the only woman and the only person of colour in the room, she didn’t initially see herself as excluded. She only recognised the barriers when someone named them.

What Jenny is trying to change is deeper than policy or programmes. She is pushing back against the quiet expectation that people must dilute themselves to belong. She questions systems that contain voices rather than change structures, and the false choices that frame inclusion as a win–lose game. For her, this is not abstract debate. It is about what it feels like to watch friends vote in ways that threaten your rights. It is about hearing chants that defend racism. It is about knowing that progress is fragile. She wants a world where no one fears an election result because their humanity is not up for negotiation.

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10 Small, digestible concepts for easy learning

1. Assimilation can be a survival skill – but it can cost you your voice.

Fitting in may keep you safe, yet it can slowly erase parts of who you are.

2. You don’t always know you’re excluded until someone names it.

Normalised inequality can feel invisible until it’s called out.

3. Human rights should never be a political bargaining chip.

If dignity depends on who governs, it was never secure.

4. Zero-sum thinking poisons belonging.

Inclusion framed as “your gain is my loss” breeds fear.

5. Representation isn’t decoration.

Featuring diverse faces without shifting power leaves systems untouched.

6. Curiosity disrupts echo chambers.

Openness to other perspectives is the beginning of real change.

7. Kindness is not soft – it is structural.

Systems built without compassion will always exclude someone.

8. Anger often hides care.

The loudest voices can be driven by a deep fear of losing something precious.

9. History buried is harm repeated.

What isn’t taught or spoken about quietly shapes the present.

10. Courage is contagious.

When one person refuses to “tone down”, others find their voice too.

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The “why” in the story

What they believe is true about people

Jenny believes most people think they are good. She believes anger and fear usually mask care. She believes that, at our core, we all want safety, respect and a future for our children.

What they cannot unsee

She cannot unsee how quickly rights can be threatened.

She cannot unsee masked men calling for deportations in cities she thought were safe.

She cannot unsee that some people must consider their right to exist every time they cast a vote.

What they are no longer willing to tolerate

She is no longer willing to accept “performative” inclusion.

She refuses to shrink her voice to fit someone else’s idea of leadership.

She will not accept systems that contain marginalised people instead of changing.

What they are trying to build instead

Workplaces where inclusion is woven into core decisions, not sidelined.

Conversations rooted in respect, not rivalry.

A society where children grow up knowing their dignity is not conditional.

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Narrative structure

1. The trigger:

Being told to “tone down your warrior” after sharing lived experiences. That moment clarified for Jenny that her honesty was seen as inconvenient.

2. The tension:

Navigating rooms where she is the only one. Watching people frame inclusion as a threat. Seeing loved ones vote in ways that undermine her safety.

3. The insight:

Systems are not broken – they were built this way. Real change isn’t about labelling problems as diversity issues; it is about redesigning structures with humanity at the centre.

4. The pivot:

Leaving a successful finance career to create her own consultancy. Reframing inclusion as operational, not ornamental. Choosing to amplify her voice rather than soften it.

5. The destination:

A world where no one fears that their identity will be debated at the ballot box; where systems are designed for the complexity of real human lives.

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Five key takeaways and learning points

1. Belonging should not require erasure.

If you must shrink to fit in, the environment – not you – needs to change.

2. Rights feel abstract until they’re threatened.

Pay attention before fear becomes personal.

3. Change requires courage from those with power.

Equity cannot rest solely on those harmed by inequity.

4. Good intentions are not enough.

Without systemic redesign, inclusion becomes a press release.

5. Respect is the starting point.

Strip away labels and begin with basic human dignity; it shifts the tone of every conversation.

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Ten distinct ideas explained

1. Authenticity over assimilation

Authenticity means showing up as you are; assimilation asks you to mute parts of yourself to feel safe. The emotional toll of constant adjustment is heavy.

2. The fragility of progress

Rights won over decades can erode quickly. For some, that fear is constant, not theoretical.

3. Containment versus change

Committees and councils can create community, but without structural reform they risk isolating the very voices they aim to elevate.

4. The fear behind backlash

When people feel something is being taken from them, even symbolically, defensiveness rises. Acknowledging that fear opens dialogue.

5. History’s silence

Exclusion laws and injustices not taught in schools leave societies unaware of wounds that still shape the present.

6. Economic self-interest versus collective wellbeing

Voting for personal gain can clash with protecting others’ rights. That tension reveals our true priorities.

7. Identity complexity

Jenny was “not Chinese enough” in one space and “too Chinese” in another. Belonging isn’t binary; it’s layered and shifting.

8. Leadership courage

Real leadership is sitting in discomfort without retreating, especially when conversations challenge your worldview.

9. Anger as evidence of care

Beneath outrage often lies a desire for safety or fairness. Listening for that helps de-escalate polarisation.

10. Designing for reality

Systems built in exclusionary eras need rebuilding, not tweaking. When people feel seen in the design, dignity grows.

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How people should change as a result

1. Think

• Move from “this doesn’t affect me” to “who might this affect differently than me?”
• Replace zero-sum thinking with abundance: inclusion does not require exclusion.
• See systems as designed outcomes, not accidents.
• Consider that someone’s basic safety may hinge on decisions you view as routine.

2. Feel

• Shift from defensiveness to curiosity.
• From guilt to shared responsibility.
• From indifference to quiet empathy.
• From comfort with the status quo to a healthy discomfort that prompts questioning.

3. Act

• Ask someone about their lived experience – and truly listen.
• Challenge dismissive comments, even gently, in everyday conversations.
• Review workplace practices for who is missing from decision-making spaces.
• Support policies that protect rights, not just profits.
• Speak up when someone is singled out or silenced in a meeting.
• Teach younger generations honest history, including uncomfortable chapters.
• Refuse to “tone down” truth when silence would cost someone else their dignity.

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One thing to remember

No one’s right to exist fully and authentically should ever depend on who wins.