Belonging Across Borders

Joanne Lockwood is joined by writer and media producer Mina Sharif to explore what belonging looks like when your life spans countries, cultures and competing narratives. Mina reflects on being born in Afghanistan, raised in Canada as part of a refugee family, returning to Afghanistan as an adult for 15 years, and then resettling back in Canada. Through her story, the episode examines how identity can feel fragmentedand how it can also become a strength when you learn to hold multiple worlds at once.

They discuss the limits of media-led perceptions of Afghanistan, and the importance of approaching gaps in understanding with compassion rather than defensiveness. Mina shares how displacement can carry grief, loss of status, and pressure to perform gratitude, and why creating space for trauma, healing and dignity is essential for newcomersespecially young peopleto integrate in healthy ways.

The conversation moves from personal experience into practical human connection: asking better questions, resisting broad categorisations, avoiding saviourism, and seeing displaced people as capable individuals with agency, skills and complex lives. Mina also talks about her work in educational media in Afghanistan, her workshops with service providers, and how storytelling and fiction can open a fuller window into everyday life beyond headlines.

One-sentence summary

Mina Sharif believes that belonging is not about choosing between worlds, but about having the courage to honour both — and inviting others to meet us there with compassion instead of fear.

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Synopsis

Mina Sharif lives on a bridge. Born in Afghanistan and raised in Canada after her family fled as refugees, she grew up piecing together an identity from headlines, family stories, food and fragments. She didn’t expect to return to Afghanistan — and when she did in 2005, what began as volunteering turned into 15 years of building children’s media, educational programming and storytelling. That return reshaped her. She found herself neither fully Canadian nor fully Afghan, but standing between two worlds — observing, translating, connecting. She describes her superpower as “seeing the unseen and amplifying voices caught between worlds”, and she says it without drama. It’s simply the role her life gave her.

What she is trying to change is quieter than politics yet deeper than policy. She wants people to stop collapsing entire countries into war footage and entire communities into stereotypes. She wants those in exile to be allowed to grieve without guilt, and those receiving them to move beyond saviourism into genuine curiosity. For Mina, this is about dignity — about asking better questions, about refusing to speak for “all Afghan women”, about reminding us that healing cannot begin until people are seen as individuals, not symbols. Belonging across borders, she shows us, is not a slogan. It is daily emotional labour — and it is worth it.

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10 Small, digestible concepts for easy learning

1. Dual identity is not confusion — it is capacity.

Living between cultures can be a bridge, not a fracture.

2. Headlines are rarely the whole story.

A country cannot be reduced to its worst news cycle.

3. Compassion begins with acknowledging limited access.

Most people only know what they’ve been shown.

4. Gratitude and grief can coexist.

You can be thankful for safety and mourn what you lost.

5. Belonging is not assimilation.

Keeping your culture doesn’t threaten anyone else’s.

6. Curiosity lowers defences.

Ask about someone’s lived experience, not “their entire people”.

7. Saviourism strips dignity.

Helping becomes harmful when it assumes weakness.

8. You are not your stereotype.

No one should be asked to summarise a nation.

9. Healing strengthens societies.

Unprocessed trauma doesn’t disappear — it resurfaces.

10. Confidence reduces threat.

When you know who you are, someone else’s identity feels less dangerous.

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The “why” in the story

What they believe is true about people

That people fundamentally want dignity, safety and connection — and most prejudice is born of distance, not malice.

What they cannot unsee

How quickly a country becomes a caricature. How easily women’s rights are framed as “culture” rather than political imposition. How often exiled people silence their own grief to seem grateful.

What they are no longer willing to tolerate

Being asked to represent “all Afghan women”. Conversations that reduce her homeland to victimhood. The quiet expectation that refugees should simply move on without permission to mourn.

What they are trying to build instead

Spaces where curiosity replaces fear. Stories that humanise instead of headline. A generation comfortable holding more than one home in their identity.

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Narrative structure

1. The trigger:

Returning to Afghanistan in 2005. She arrived expecting not to belong — armed with stereotypes absorbed abroad — and instead found welcome and complexity. That shock reframed everything.

2. The tension:

Living between worlds means never fully fitting. Being expected to speak for millions. Watching her homeland reduced to war. Feeling responsible for changing perceptions while knowing she cannot change who holds power.

3. The insight:

She realised that dual identity could be “a superpower and not the worst thing that could happen to someone”. The bridge itself is powerful.

4. The pivot:

Rather than exhausting herself fighting political systems she cannot control, she chose to focus on human connection — workshops, storytelling, short fiction, grassroots conversations.

5. The destination:

A future where Afghans in exile feel whole rather than fragmented; where newcomers are welcomed with depth, not token gestures; where people ask, gently, “What was your experience?” instead of “What are your people like?”

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Five key takeaways and learning points

1. You don’t need to understand everything to show care.

Compassion is more powerful than expertise.

2. Exile leaves invisible wounds.

So what: acknowledging grief helps people integrate healthily, rather than suppress trauma.

3. Curiosity is an act of respect.

So what: asking thoughtful questions restores dignity instead of reinforcing stereotypes.

4. Identity is layered, not singular.

So what: when you allow complexity, you reduce pressure on people to “choose a side”.

5. Systems matter — but so do small human gestures.

So what: real belonging is built in everyday conversations, not just official statements.

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Ten distinct ideas explained

1. Living between worlds

Mina describes herself as neither fully here nor there. This “in-between” space can feel isolating — but it also gives a rare vantage point to notice where connection is possible.

2. Media framing shapes identity

When all you see of a country is conflict, your imagination shrinks. The emotional consequence is distance and fear; new stories reopen the picture.

3. The burden of representation

Being asked to speak for “all Afghan women” is exhausting. It erases individuality and turns a person into a symbol.

4. Grieving what you built

Mina returned to Canada after losing the life she had built in Afghanistan. Even with safety, loss does not vanish. Communities rarely pause to honour that.

5. Trauma in young newcomers

Teenagers fleeing war may appear resilient, but without space to process, trauma shapes their futures quietly.

6. Saviour narratives

When others approach refugees as helpless, it strips agency. Dignity requires recognising capability, not just vulnerability.

7. Personal questions over political generalisations

Asking someone about their story invites connection; asking them to explain a nation invites defensiveness.

8. Anger as unprocessed identity pain

Mina notes that communities sometimes lead with anger because their own connection to identity hasn’t healed.

9. Confidence reduces hostility

When people feel secure in who they are, they are less threatened by difference.

10. Storytelling as bridge-building

Through fiction and media, Mina creates windows into ordinary Afghan life — offering humanity without forcing explanation.

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How people should change as a result

1. Think

• Move from “What are these people like?” to “What has this person lived?”
• See refugees as carriers of skills and history, not just need.
• Recognise that multiple identities can coexist without contradiction.
• Understand that war headlines never capture daily life.
• Accept that you don’t need perfect knowledge to begin a conversation.

2. Feel

• From defensiveness to curiosity.
• From pity to respect.
• From fear of “getting it wrong” to willingness to learn.
• From zero-sum thinking to shared space.
• From guilt to compassionate responsibility.

3. Act

• Ask newcomers about their professional and personal background — and genuinely listen.
• Learn one cultural practice (a recipe, a celebration, a book) from a community you know little about.
• Avoid asking someone to represent their entire country.
• Create space for grief when welcoming displaced people — signpost mental health support.
• Introduce people based on their strengths and skills, not their refugee status.
• Challenge your own media lens by seeking out first-hand stories.
• If you’re in a position of influence, consider trauma-informed approaches in schools and youth services.

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One thing to remember

Belonging is not about choosing one home over another — it’s about having the courage to honour both, and the compassion to let others do the same.