Finding Your Courage And Voice To Speak Out

Madeline Black joins Joanne Lockwood to talk about what it took to find the courage to speak publicly about being gang raped at 13, and how shame and fear kept her silent for decades. She describes how victim-blaming culture and gaps in societal and justice-system support can reinforce that silence, and why shifting responsibility back to perpetrators matters.

Madeline reflects on the long-term impact of trauma, including disordered eating, suicidal feelings, anxiety and PTSD, and the gradual process of healing through support and therapy. She shares why stepping into the shame and telling the truth of what happened helped her reconnect with her sense of self-worth and authenticity.

The conversation also explores why speaking out can be contagious: how public storytelling can create connection, inspire others to disclose their own experiences, and build empathy. They touch on online harassment, the increased risks of domestic abuse during COVID-19 lockdowns, and the need for workplaces and communities to create conditions where people can be heard safely.

One-sentence summary

Madeline Black’s life is a testament to this truth: when you step into your shame and speak anyway, you don’t just free yourself — you unlock courage in others.

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Synopsis

Madeline Black is a survivor of repeated sexual violence who lived for decades under the weight of silence. Raped at thirteen and again before she turned eighteen, she grew up believing she was “contaminated”, worthless, somehow responsible. Fear walked beside her for years. She developed anorexia, attempted suicide, misused drugs and alcohol, and practically stopped speaking — her family nicknamed her “the ice maiden”. For 35 years she carried her story alone, convinced that if people knew, they would be horrified by her.

Today, Madeline describes her superpower as “my voice and ability to speak out”. What changed wasn’t the past — it was her relationship to shame. “You can’t eradicate shame by hiding in the shadows,” she says. “You have to step into the shame.” By sharing her story publicly — first anonymously, then with her name and photograph — she cut the chains that bound her. Now she speaks so others do not die in silence. She believes courage is contagious. Every time someone hears her and finds the strength to speak, the silence fractures a little more.

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10 Small, digestible concepts for easy learning

1. Shame thrives in silence.

What we do not speak about does not disappear — it leaks out in other ways.

2. Fear can masquerade as protection.

For years, fear felt like safety to her, but it was also the prison.

3. You are not what was done to you.

“I’m not my body. I’m not the things that these people did to me.”

4. Victim-blaming wounds twice.

The crime harms the body; the culture can harm the soul.

5. Courage grows in community.

Hearing another woman’s bravery helped Madeline find her own.

6. Self-judgement runs deep.

Often the harshest courtroom is inside our own heads.

7. Naming truth restores power.

Speaking publicly shattered the story that she should be ashamed.

8. Healing is active.

Therapy, body work, repetition — growth didn’t happen by accident.

9. Courage is contagious.

One voice can ripple outward for decades.

10. Post-traumatic growth is possible.

Trauma may shape you, but it does not have to define you.

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The “why” in the story

What they believe is true about people

That we are stronger than we think, and that underneath our performances and masks there is a core self that violence cannot destroy.

What they cannot unsee

That silence imprisons people for life. That some carry rape, abuse, or shame to the grave without ever telling a soul.

What they are no longer willing to tolerate

Victim-blaming. Rape culture. The idea that survivors should stay quiet to avoid discomforting others.

What they are trying to build instead

A world where speaking about sexual violence is normal, met with belief rather than suspicion — where courage spreads person to person.

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Narrative structure

1. The trigger

Being approached by the Forgiveness Project and deciding, “I am tired of being ashamed for a crime committed against my body.” Hearing another survivor meet her attacker in prison showed her what bravery could look like.

2. The tension

The terror of being judged. The vulnerability of attaching her name and face to her story. The expectation that she should be “brave”, while still feeling fear.

3. The insight

“You can’t eradicate shame by hiding in the shadows.” Stepping towards the thing she feared most was the only way through.

4. The pivot

She stopped being anonymous. She stood on a stage and spoke without hiding. She chose growth over remaining anchored to her past.

5. The destination

A life aligned. No double-thinking. No mask. Just Madeline — healed, integrated, using her voice so others might feel less alone.

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Five key takeaways and learning points

1. Silence protects perpetrators, not survivors.

Speaking disrupts systems that rely on quiet compliance.

2. Your reaction to trauma is not weakness.

Eating disorders, shutdown, anxiety — these can be survival responses.

3. Shame loses power when witnessed safely.

Telling the truth to supportive ears changes internal narratives.

4. You don’t need to be fearless to be courageous.

Courage is acting while afraid — not the absence of fear.

5. One story can change another life.

A woman broke 64 years of silence after hearing Madeline speak. That is the ripple effect.

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Ten distinct ideas explained

1. The silence prison

Many survivors lock themselves away emotionally to avoid judgement. It keeps them safe and stuck.

2. Internalised blame

Cultural narratives seep inward. Survivors ask, “Was it me?” even when it never was.

3. Embodied trauma

What we cannot speak can surface through the body — anorexia, addiction, illness, shutdown.

4. Masks as survival tools

The world saw a smiling mother; beneath, she paddled furiously just to function.

5. Public disclosure as liberation

Sharing her story with her name attached cut the fear of being “found out”.

6. The paradox of identity

The trauma shaped her path, yet it is not her essence.

7. Community healing

Storytelling creates empathy bridges — people see themselves in each other.

8. Cultural complicity

Blaming clothing or circumstance protects perpetrators and isolates survivors.

9. Adaptive strength

Humans adjust — to trauma, to pandemics, to fear — often more than we realise.

10. Power of example

When someone stands in truth without collapse, it gives others permission to do the same.

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How people should change as a result

1. Think

• Move from “Why didn’t they tell?” to “What made it unsafe to tell?”
• Understand that shame is socially reinforced, not self-generated.
• Recognise that growth after trauma is possible — but not automatic.
• See storytelling as social change, not self-indulgence.

2. Feel

• From scepticism to empathy.
• From discomfort to compassion.
• From pity to respect.
• From fear of the subject to willingness to engage with it.

3. Act

• Believe survivors without interrogating their credibility.
• Challenge victim-blaming language when you hear it.
• Create environments — at work and at home — where difficult truths can be spoken safely.
• Reach out to someone whose silence worries you.
• Seek support for your own unspoken story.
• Share responsibly if your story could help someone else.

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One thing to remember

Shame survives in silence — but courage spreads the moment one voice dares to speak.