From Stigma To Strength

Joanne Lockwood is joined by Alexandra Parritt to explore how stigma around mental health and neurodiversity shows up at work, and what it takes to shift from merely coping to finding strength. Alexandra shares how masking and stereotypes can shape perceptions of capability, and why psychological safety and supportive management can make the difference between a workplace that harms and one that enables people to thrive.

They discuss neurodiversity as a movement that challenges rigid ideas of “normal”, touching on ADHD and autism and the importance of focusing on individuals rather than assumptions or one-size-fits-all adjustments. The conversation also looks at how working patterns, flexibility, and the everyday environment around someone can amplify or reduce stress.

Alongside Alexandra’s experiences, Joanne reflects on identity and authenticity at work, including her perspective as a transgender woman and how expectations of “professionalism” can change over time. Together they make the case for inclusion that benefits everyone, and for practical culture shifts that remove stigma and open opportunity.

One-sentence summary

Alexandra Parrott is turning years of stigma around mental health into a quiet, determined mission to make workplaces feel safer — not just for people like her, but for everyone who has ever felt they had to hide.

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Synopsis

Alexandra Parrott grew up with the weight of stigma around her mental health — stigma that quietly shaped how she saw herself and what she thought she was capable of. She learned to mask. She learned to perform. She learned to measure herself against ideas of “calm”, “stable” and “professional”, always fearing that if the mask slipped, people would question her capability. At nineteen, things became explicit enough to name, but long before that, the message had been clear: be careful, don’t be too much, and choose a life that won’t “stress” you. Yet Alexandra describes her “superpower” as empathy and a “fire within to make the world a safer place”. That fire grew from loss, from motherhood, from standing at a crossroads in her early thirties and asking herself, for the first time, what she actually wanted — not what she thought would be safe.

Today, she is trying to change how we see difference at work. Not through slogans, but through a shift in lens: from deficit to strength, from condition to context, from “adjustments” to everyday practice. She believes stigma shrinks people; safety allows them to expand. When a manager told her, during her mother’s final weeks, “this is just a job at the end of the day”, it gave her permission to be human. That sentence became proof that dignity at work is possible. What she wants to protect is that sense of psychological safety — where someone can take off the mask, bring their worst day if needed, and not fear being reduced to a liability.

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10 Small, digestible concepts for easy learning

1. Masking keeps you safe — until it exhausts you.

Hiding difference can help you survive, but it costs energy and erodes self-trust.

2. Stigma turns strengths into shame.

Traits like passion and intensity can be reframed as “instability” when seen through the wrong lens.

3. The environment shapes the experience.

A condition doesn’t change — but the context can make it flourish or flounder.

4. If you’ve met one person with autism, you’ve met one person with autism.

Labels don’t tell the whole story; individuals always do.

5. Safety is often one sentence away.

“This is just a job” can mean: your humanity matters more than performance.

6. Benefits don’t build belonging — people do.

Holiday and healthcare mean little without respect and trust.

7. Bringing your “worst self” can be braver than bringing your best.

Real inclusion means you don’t have to perform happiness.

8. We are all neurodiverse — no one is the perfect norm.

The idea of “normal” is thinner than we think.

9. Self-understanding is power.

Knowing your traits turns old insecurities into informed choices.

10. Change irritates the comfortable.

Backlash often signals progress, not failure.

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The “why” in the story

What they believe is true about people

That people thrive when they feel safe, seen and treated as individuals — not walking diagnoses or revenue generators.

What they cannot unsee

How easily workplaces reduce people to performance, and how quickly stigma turns difference into doubt.

What they are no longer willing to tolerate

The quiet assumption that stress, intensity or fluctuation equals incompetence. The idea that flexibility is “pandering”.

What they are trying to build instead

A world of work where diverse minds are valued, where support is ordinary, and where no one has to gamble their dignity to belong.

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Narrative structure

1. The trigger

Years of internalised stigma around her mental health, reinforced by advice to avoid “stressful” paths — and later, the deeply human experience of losing her mum while navigating work and motherhood. A single compassionate sentence from a manager showed her that work did not have to come at the cost of grief.

2. The tension

She lives in the space between capability and doubt. Sales is fast-paced; startups are intense — exactly the environments she was warned against. There is also the cultural tension: public narratives of being “too woke” or “pandering”, pushing back against the very changes she advocates.

3. The insight

It’s not the condition that determines success or struggle — it’s the environment. A trait seen as “poor emotional control” can equally be understood as “passionate and dynamic”. Context reframes character.

4. The pivot

She chose not to shrink her ambitions. She joined a startup. She started a neurodiversity degree rather than simply Google definitions. She began speaking openly about mental health before interviews, refusing to separate her capability from her humanity.

5. The destination

Workplaces where flexibility is normal, not exceptional. Where someone can say, “I need a day,” without fear. Where strength is defined expansively. Where belonging feels ordinary.

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Five key takeaways and learning points

1. Your environment matters more than you think.

The same person can thrive or unravel depending on context — so change the context, not the person.

2. Reframing changes self-worth.

When Alexandra saw “emotional” reframed as “passionate”, it shifted how she valued herself.

3. Flexibility benefits everyone.

What begins as a need for some often becomes freedom for many.

4. Self-reflection is revolutionary.

Asking “What do I want?” can redirect an entire life.

5. Compassion creates loyalty.

One supportive manager shaped her sense of safety more than any policy could.

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Ten distinct ideas explained

1. Masking

Constantly editing yourself to appear “normal” is a survival skill, but it chips away at authenticity and drains emotional reserves.

2. Psychological safety

It is the difference between asking for time off in fear and asking with trust.

3. Strength-based identity

Seeing traits as assets — not deficits — rebuilds confidence damaged by years of stigma.

4. The myth of normal

“Neurotypical” is more social idea than measurable reality; everyone sits somewhere on a spectrum.

5. Individual-led inclusion

No checklist can replace a genuine conversation about what one person needs.

6. Grief at work

Life does not pause for productivity; dignity means allowing humanity to interrupt output.

7. Backlash as barometer

Resistance can signal that voices once ignored are finally being heard.

8. Generational shift

Younger workers question work as identity and demand alignment with values.

9. Flexible working as leveller

Autonomy over where and how you work can unlock hidden capability.

10. Self-knowledge as protection

Understanding your own traits guards against internalising shame.

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How people should change as a result

1. Think

• Shift from “What’s wrong with them?” to “What’s happening around them?”
• Question the idea of “normal” — who defined it, and for whose convenience?
• See flexibility as smart design, not special treatment.
• Recognise that performance is influenced by safety.
• Understand that inclusion is individual, not generic.

2. Feel

• Move from scepticism to curiosity.
• From defensiveness to reflection.
• From pity to respect.
• From impatience to empathy.
• From fear of change to openness about possibility.

3. Act

• Ask one colleague what helps them work at their best — and listen.
• Normalise saying, “Take the time you need.”
• Offer flexible options without making people justify themselves.
• Replace judgemental language (“unstable”, “too sensitive”) with descriptive, neutral language.
• Share your own vulnerabilities to lower the mask for others.
• Challenge throwaway remarks about being “too woke” with calm, grounded facts.
• Review one process (interviews, meetings, return-to-work) through a lens of dignity and access.

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One thing to remember

A safer workplace doesn’t weaken standards — it strengthens people.