Mental Health Wellbeing Trauma
Joanne Lockwood is joined by speech-language pathologist, author, and inclusive fashion founder Denise Cesare for a wide-ranging conversation about self-love, resilience, and what it means to be seen and heard when your voice and body don’t match social expectations.
Denise describes living with spasmodic dysphonia after a car accident, the impact of years without a reliable speaking voice, and what it took to advocate for herself in medical settings and at work. From that difficult period, she explains how her creative energy became a route back to confidence and connection, ultimately leading to the creation of T Suit: swimmable, versatile garments designed to help people feel comfortable and empowered in and out of the water.
The discussion broadens into body image and the damage caused by size-based fashion norms, the lasting mental-health effects of COVID-era isolation (especially for young people), and why mindfulness is a practice rather than a slogan. Throughout, Denise and Joanne return to a consistent message: resilience grows when self-worth is protected, community is nurtured, and compassion becomes practical action in everyday life.
About Denise Cesare
One-sentence summary
Denise Cesare’s life is a testament to this truth: when your voice is taken from you, you can either disappear — or learn to love yourself loudly enough that nothing, and no one, can silence you.
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Synopsis
Denise Cesare is, at heart, a woman who refused to disappear. A speech language pathologist who built her life on communication, she lost her own voice after a car accident triggered spasmodic dysphonia — a neurological condition that left her barely able to speak. For five years she lived in what she calls a “dark timing”, navigating misdiagnosis, stigma and pressure to give up her career. She was told to accept disability as limitation. Instead, she chose injections, resilience and a fierce commitment to being seen as she was. In the silence, something else awakened: creativity. Out of hiding her body at the swim club, out of feeling heavy and diminished, she created T SUIT — clothing designed not to conceal shame, but to enhance the skin you’re in.
What Denise is trying to change is quieter and more radical than fashion. She is challenging the belief that worth is measured by sound, size, productivity or perfection. She has seen what happens when institutions try to push out the person who doesn’t fit neatly. She has watched children lose connection during lockdown. She has felt the edge of despair close enough to understand it. And what she protects — fiercely — is self-love. She says, “If you don’t have self love, you don’t want to be here.” Her work, whether in classrooms, books or clothing, is about helping people find the crumb of light when everything feels dark — and building a world where no one is made to feel hidden.
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10 Small, digestible concepts for easy learning
1. You are not a size — you are a fit.
Numbers are labels; dignity lives in comfort and confidence.
2. Disability does not diminish authority.
Living with difference can deepen connection and leadership.
3. Self-love is survival.
Sometimes the thing that keeps you here is not duty to others, but tenderness towards yourself.
4. Mindfulness is a practise, not a personality.
Presence must be rehearsed; calm is cultivated.
5. Silence can reveal a new voice.
When one pathway closes, creativity often opens another.
6. Trust your instincts.
If the “expert” diminishes you, seek one who restores your agency.
7. Early years matter deeply.
What is mapped in childhood becomes the architecture of adulthood.
8. Love is teachable.
Children can learn to ground themselves — but only if someone shows them how.
9. Resilience is built, not inherited.
Staying is a decision made over and over again.
10. Come as you are.
Visibility is an act of empowerment, not performance.
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The “why” in the story
What Denise believes is true about people
People are worthy before they are polished. Everyone carries light, even when they can’t see it.
What she cannot unsee
The way institutions sideline difference. The way children’s eyes dulled during lockdown. The quiet desperation that hides behind competence.
What she is no longer willing to tolerate
Being told to shrink. Being defined by a diagnosis. Systems that medicate without listening.
What she is trying to build instead
A culture of grounded self-worth — where bodies are celebrated, voices are heard (however they sound), and children are taught how to stay connected to themselves.
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Narrative structure
1. The trigger
A car accident in 2006 changed everything. Her vocal cords began to spasm; speech became laboured and painful. Doctors misread it. One suggested disability retirement. For someone whose career was voice, it was existential.
2. The tension
Five years of near-silence. Fighting to keep her job. Smiling into the mirror before work. Being the educator with a disability in rooms that wanted ease, not complexity. Raising a six-year-old while living in darkness.
3. The insight
She once believed her son “saved” her. Later she realised: “I saved myself.” The resilience came from self-love, not obligation. That shift changed everything.
4. The pivot
She chose Botox injections. She chose to show up publicly, voice changing and all. She chose to design clothing that lets women step out of the pool without hiding. She chose to write when children were disconnecting during lockdown — waking at 5am with a book that became Moments in Motion.
5. The destination
A world where people feel confident in their bodies, grounded in their worth, and equipped to find light in darkness. Where children learn mindfulness as a life skill. Where difference is not sidelined but integrated.
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Five key takeaways and learning points
1. Self-love is not indulgence — it is infrastructure.
Without it, resilience collapses. With it, you can endure far more than you imagined.
2. Your body is not the enemy.
When clothing, systems or standards shame you, redesign them — don’t redesign your self-worth.
3. Listen to discomfort.
Whether medical advice or social pressure, if something feels diminishing, question it.
4. Children need co-regulation before independence.
Leave them alone with screens and performance pressure, and they disconnect from themselves.
5. Voice is more than sound.
It is agency. Showing up — even imperfectly — teaches others they can too.
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Ten distinct ideas explained
1. The emotional cost of being unheard
Losing her voice wasn’t only physical; it was identity erosion. When someone cannot express themselves, dignity feels fragile.
2. Institutional discomfort with disability
Organisations often prefer ease over adaptation. The emotional consequence? Isolation for the person who doesn’t neatly fit.
3. Clothing as psychological armour
A wet T-shirt felt heavy and exposed; designing swimmable layers became a way to reclaim comfort without hiding.
4. Body image and arbitrary sizing
Inconsistent sizing shames unnecessarily. When numbers dictate worth, anxiety follows.
5. Mindfulness as grounding
With anxious young people, she saw the hunger for tools that centre them in their bodies, not just their screens.
6. Music as regulation
Vibration, rhythm and breath connect brain to body — healing doesn’t have to be purely cognitive.
7. The repetition of unhealed pain
What isn’t addressed in one generation echoes into the next.
8. Medicalisation without monitoring
A prescription without relational follow-up can deepen vulnerability rather than solve it.
9. The discipline of staying
Smiling into the mirror wasn’t denial; it was a daily decision not to give up.
10. Empowerment through visibility
By appearing publicly at every stage of her vocal cycle, she models acceptance of fluctuation.
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How people should change as a result
1. Think
- Instead of asking “What’s wrong with them?”, ask “What have they lived through?”
- See self-love as responsibility, not vanity.
- Question whether systems privilege comfort over care.
- Recognise how early childhood environments shape adult resilience.
- Understand disability as depth, not deficit.
2. Feel
- Move from judgement to curiosity.
- Shift from pity to solidarity.
- Replace shame about your body with gentleness.
- Trade cynicism for cautious hope.
- Allow compassion for yourself, not only for others.
3. Act
- Compliment someone’s presence, not just their appearance.
- Wear what makes you feel comfortable — not what you think you “should” fit into.
- Practise one real minute of mindful breathing each day.
- Follow up with someone who seems quieter than usual.
- If prescribed medication, ask questions and request monitoring.
- Support brands or initiatives that centre inclusivity and sustainability.
- Tell a young person explicitly: “You are important in this moment.”
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One thing to remember
When everything feels dark, the smallest act of self-love can be enough light to keep you here.