Resilience Diversity And Wellbeing

Joanne Lockwood speaks with LinkedIn and social selling expert Sam Rathling about what resilience looks like when life becomes dominated by hospital appointments, uncertainty, and recovery. Sam shares her breast cancer diagnosis and treatment journey, including the emotional impact, the physical toll of chemotherapy, and the lesser-discussed challenge of what happens when treatment milestones are reached but psychological support still feels limited.

Alongside cancer, Sam discusses her decision to become sober and how sobriety changed her ability to cope with adversity, parent through crisis, and stay grounded through treatment. The conversation also touches on family life as a single parent of three neurodivergent children, and the importance of connection and practical support during prolonged periods of stress.

The episode closes with a candid look at authenticity in public life: why Sam chose to share parts of her experience on social media, how vulnerability can build genuine community, and what workplaces and colleagues often get wrong when someone returns after serious illness. Listeners are left with clear encouragement around early detection and a thoughtful challenge to show up as a whole human being, not just a professional mask.

One-sentence summary

Sam Rathling’s story is about choosing presence over panic — protecting her children, her sobriety and her sense of self in the face of cancer, and refusing to shrink or disappear when life turns brutal.

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Synopsis (two paragraphs)

Sam Rathling is not simply a business owner or a cancer survivor; she is a single mother of three neurodivergent children who has carried responsibility on her shoulders for years. She has faced a hostile divorce, financial strain, a police raid on her own home, sobriety, and then — just as she found steadier ground — a breast cancer diagnosis. She calls herself “resilient rathoming”, but not because she sees herself as brave. “You are strong because you have no option to be strong,” she says. For Sam, resilience is not inspirational theatre. It is getting up, getting the kids to athletics, running a business, and walking into chemotherapy knowing it will make you ill — again and again — because you have three children watching.

She is trying to change the way we show up for one another — in illness, in workplaces, on social media, in family life. She has seen how quickly people disappear when they do not know what to say. She has lived the hollow space after treatment ends, when the “roller coaster” stops but the fear doesn’t. She wants organisations to stop awkwardly skirting cancer and start having real conversations. She wants people to check their bodies, to check on their friends, and to show up as humans — not masks. What matters to her is dignity: that no one feels erased by illness, neurodivergence, race, or struggle, and that being fully yourself is not a liability, but a gift.

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10 Small, digestible concepts for easy learning

1. Strength is often just the absence of choice.

When life corners you, resilience is simply continuing.

2. The hardest part is often the waiting.

Uncertainty can be more brutal than treatment.

3. If you don’t know what to say, say that.

Silence hurts more than awkward honesty.

4. Children rise when we trust them with truth.

Sam’s daughters shaved their heads with her — dignity shared.

5. Sobriety is returning control to yourself.

She chose clarity over numbing, before she knew she’d need it most.

6. Illness doesn’t pause life.

The school run still happens, even during chemotherapy.

7. Visibility saves lives.

A tight white T-shirt and regular self-checks changed everything.

8. Belonging includes people in recovery and remission.

Workplaces must learn how to receive people back.

9. Vulnerability attracts the right people.

Showing up honestly filters out those who cannot meet you there.

10. Being polarising can be protection.

When you are fully yourself, the wrong people fall away.

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The “why” in the story

What they believe is true about people

That most people want to care — they just don’t know how. And that when you give them permission to talk honestly, they step forward.

What they cannot unsee

The rows of chemotherapy chairs refilling all day; friends disappearing from discomfort; women ignoring screening letters until it’s too late; children carrying more than anyone realises.

What they are no longer willing to tolerate

Pretend professionalism. Emotional avoidance. Silence around illness. Using alcohol to numb what needs facing.

What they are trying to build instead

A life rooted in clarity, presence and courage — and spaces, online and offline, where people can show up whole: parent, patient, professional, flawed human.

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Narrative structure

1. The trigger:

A lump. A GP appointment. “You have breast cancer.”

And earlier — a New Year’s Eve call from police in Bali, realising her grip on life felt fragile. That was the night she chose sobriety.

2. The tension:

Walking into chemotherapy knowing it will wreck your body.

Returning to normality while you are still medicated and afraid.

Friends going quiet. Colleagues unsure how to look at you. The mirror becoming an enemy.

3. The insight:

“You’re literally voluntarily walking into somewhere where you know they’re going to inject this awful stuff into you.”

Resilience is not loud. It is repeated action. And if something feels abnormal — in your body or your life — do not ignore it.

4. The pivot:

She stopped drinking.

She named the tumour “Larry the lump” to help her daughter cope.

She chose to speak publicly.

She refused to sanitise herself online.

5. The destination:

A recalibrated life: health first, children close, goals lighter.

“It's enough right now for me to just be here, be present and have fun and create memories.”

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Five key takeaways and learning points

1. Uncertainty is traumatising.

So what: When someone is awaiting results or adjusting to illness, support them through the not-knowing — not just the crisis.

2. Awkward care is better than absence.

So what: Send the text. Say you don’t know what to say. Stay.

3. Sobriety can be an act of survival.

So what: Removing numbing behaviours can build the strength you later depend on.

4. Children notice everything — and can surprise you.

So what: Include them honestly; they may become your fiercest allies.

5. Check yourself — literally.

So what: Early action preserves life. Normalising screening and self-checks protects families.

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Ten distinct ideas explained

1. The roller coaster effect

Treatment structures your life; when it ends, you feel untethered. Emotional support must stretch beyond discharge.

2. Silence as secondary harm

When friends disappear, it compounds illness with isolation.

3. Returning to work after cancer

The challenge is often not capacity, but colleagues’ discomfort and avoidance.

4. The body as battleground

Weight gain, hair loss, surgical scars — identity shifts alongside health.

5. Naming fear to tame it

“Larry the lump” turned terror into something her daughter could laugh at.

6. Neurodivergent parenting under pressure

Advocacy doesn’t stop during chemo; dignity for her children remains non-negotiable.

7. Sobriety as clarity

Removing alcohol meant she met cancer with a steady liver and clearer mind.

8. Public vulnerability as filter

She believes it draws aligned people closer and keeps others away.

9. Profile versus person

Sanitised professionalism erases humanity; authentic storytelling restores it.

10. Mortality as recalibration

Facing death reordered ambition — presence now outranks performance.

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How people should change as a result

1. Think

• Stop assuming resilience means someone is fine.
• Recognise that illness doesn’t end when treatment does.
• See sobriety and vulnerability as strength, not weakness.
• Understand that awkwardness is about your discomfort, not their fragility.
• Remember that visibility — of illness, race, neurodivergence — changes outcomes.

2. Feel

• Move from fear of saying the wrong thing to courage to try.
• Shift from pity to respect.
• Replace guilt with responsibility.
• Let discomfort become curiosity.
• Allow gratitude for the ordinary to rise above stress about the trivial.

3. Act

• Learn how to check your body properly; put reminders in your calendar.
• If someone is ill, ask: “How do you want me to show up for you today?”
• Review how your workplace supports staff returning from serious illness.
• Reduce or remove coping habits that numb rather than heal.
• Share one honest, human story about your life instead of another polished update.
• Send the message you’ve been avoiding.
• Protect time for presence with those who matter.

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One thing to remember

Resilience isn’t about being fearless — it’s about showing up, again and again, for the life and people you refuse to lose.