The Future Of Gender Equity

Joanne Lockwood is joined by Valentina Jaramillo to discuss what the future of gender equity should look like when it moves beyond a strict women-versus-men framing. Valentina explains key distinctions between sex assigned at birth, gender identity, and gender expression, and shares why gender equity must include nonbinary, agender, and gender nonconforming people rather than leaving them out of workplace strategies, data, and programmes.

The conversation explores practical barriers that show up in everyday working life, from resistance to using they/them pronouns to the ways people are pushed back into binary assumptions. Joanne and Valentina also unpack why inclusive language matters, what it can look like in practice, and why organisations need to build environments where people can be respected without having to repeatedly justify their identity.

They examine organisational responsibilities in more depth, including gathering better data, building inclusive policies, and addressing areas such as pay transparency and equitable pay across genders. Valentina also highlights the importance of thoughtful facilities provision, including access to gender-neutral restrooms, and discusses how gendered language in policies and benefits (for example, around reproductive health) can unintentionally exclude.

Finally, Joanne and Valentina look at performative corporate support during Pride, the difference between rainbow washing and sustained action, and what authentic allyship looks like across the year. The episode closes with a call for organisations to keep learning, have the conversations even when it feels uncomfortable, and commit to meaningful change rather than checkbox inclusion.

One-sentence summary

Valentina Jaramillo’s message is simple but brave: let people name themselves, and build a world that doesn’t force them back into a box just to make others comfortable.

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Synopsis

Valentina Jaramillo grew up in Colombia being told who she was before she had language to question it. “This is a girl,” the doctor said at birth — and with that came a whole script about how to look, behave and exist. She tried to live inside it. She even tried to redefine womanhood “on my own terms”. But something never settled. It wasn’t until she was 40 that she realised she didn’t have to conform at all. “It was the happiest day of my life,” she says, describing the moment she felt “actually out of a cage.” Today, she identifies as gender nonconforming. Her superpower, she says, is honesty — sharing her lived experience without judgement — and creating space where others feel safe enough to speak.

What she is trying to change is not simply language or policies, but the quiet violence of being continually mis-seen. The CV ignored because it includes “they/them”. The restaurant greeting that erases her identity before she’s even sat down. The exhaustion of deciding, moment by moment, whether she has the energy to correct someone. She isn’t asking for perfection. “I just want to see that you care and that you try.” For Valentina, the future of gender equity isn’t about replacing women’s progress — it’s about widening the circle so nobody is left behind. It’s about a world where freedom doesn’t arrive at 40, but is there from the beginning.

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10 Small, digestible concepts for easy learning

1. Identity is not a debate.

If someone tells you who they are, your role isn’t to analyse it — it’s to respect it.

2. Pronouns are about dignity, not grammar.

Language evolves; the real question is whether we are willing to evolve with it.

3. Mistakes don’t break trust — refusal does.

Getting it wrong is human; refusing to try is harm.

4. Privilege can disappear overnight.

The moment Valentina added her pronouns to her CV, opportunities quietly shrank.

5. Boxes are comfortable for observers, not for the person inside them.

6. Expanding equity doesn’t erase anyone.

Lifting gender minorities doesn’t push women down — it raises the floor for all.

7. Exhaustion is an unseen tax.

Deciding whether to correct someone costs energy most people never notice.

8. Visibility without safety is hollow.

A rainbow logo means little if employees still feel closeted.

9. Language shapes belonging.

A small shift — “everyone” instead of “ladies and gentlemen” — can prevent harm.

10. Freedom is realising you don’t have to conform.

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The “why” in the story

What they believe is true about people

That people deserve to define themselves — and that most harm comes not from difference, but from forcing sameness.

What they cannot unsee

The way bias quietly closes doors: unanswered job applications, blank stares, the dismissive “that’s too hard”.

What they are no longer willing to tolerate

Having her identity negotiated, softened, or ignored for someone else’s comfort.

What they are trying to build instead

Workplaces and cultures where gender is understood as a spectrum, and where effort — not perfection — is the standard for respect.

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Narrative structure

1. The trigger:

Growing up in Colombia without language for her experience, believing she had to choose between “woman” or “man” when neither felt true.

2. The tension:

Constant micro-decisions: correct or let it pass? Explain again or conserve energy? Be visible or be safe?

3. The insight:

“I don’t have to conform.” Freedom came not from fitting better into the box, but from stepping outside it.

4. The pivot:

Adding her pronouns to her CV. Claiming “gender nonconforming” even when it costs her. Refusing to apologise for existing.

5. The destination:

A world where conversations start earlier, language grows faster, and no one waits four decades to feel free.

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Five key takeaways and learning points

1. You don’t have to understand someone fully to respect them.

So what: listening replaces defensiveness and creates immediate dignity.

2. Equity must widen, not rotate.

So what: focusing only on one injustice risks recreating exclusion elsewhere.

3. Intent matters more than flawless execution.

So what: trying openly builds trust; silence builds fear.

4. Policies shape feelings.

So what: inclusive wording on paper translates into psychological safety in practice.

5. Belonging is measured in small moments.

So what: greetings, CV screenings and everyday language quietly signal who is welcome.

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Ten distinct ideas explained

1. The cost of being misgendered

It’s not one word; it’s the accumulation. Each “she” after being told “they” says: you are not seen.

2. Pronouns as risk

Including “they/them” on a CV can reduce callbacks. Visibility becomes vulnerability.

3. Energy as currency

Explaining identity requires emotional labour. Deciding when to fight is survival strategy.

4. Freedom at 40

Self-recognition later in life is joyful — and bittersweet. What might life have felt like with earlier permission?

5. The myth of erasure

Inclusive terms like “reproductive health” do not erase women; they acknowledge reality.

6. Bathrooms as battlegrounds

The fear narratives often obscure who is actually harmed — trans people face far greater risk.

7. Language anxiety

Many avoid trying because they fear imperfection. This paralysis maintains the status quo.

8. Performative allyship

External signals without internal safety deepen distrust among staff.

9. Data invisibility

What isn’t measured remains unseen — including pay gaps for gender minorities.

10. Spectrum thinking

Moving beyond binaries invites fuller humanity: leadership, compassion, assertiveness aren’t gender traits — they’re human ones.

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How people should change as a result

1. Think

• Move from “I don’t get it” to “I don’t need to get it to respect it.”
• See gender as lived experience, not a fixed checklist.
• Recognise that resistance to change often protects comfort, not truth.
• Understand that inclusive language prevents harm before it happens.
• Accept that expanding equity strengthens, rather than dilutes, progress.

2. Feel

• From defensiveness to curiosity.
• From fear of mistakes to willingness to try.
• From fatigue about “new words” to empathy for lifelong invisibility.
• From abstract agreement to personal responsibility.
• From silent allyship to visible support.

3. Act

• Use gender-neutral greetings (“everyone”, “hello all”) in daily life.
• Practise someone’s pronouns out loud until they feel natural.
• Add pronouns to your own profile to share the risk.
• Review workplace policies for gendered language and widen them thoughtfully.
• Create at least one gender-neutral facility where possible.
• Challenge biased hiring practices, especially pronoun-based discrimination.
• When you make a mistake, correct yourself briefly and move on.

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One thing to remember

Respect is not about mastering new language — it’s about being willing to see someone as they see themselves.