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Inclusion Bites · Episode 136

The Power Of Persistence

with Sheena Yap Chan · 29 November 2024

See Change Happen podcast: The Power of Persistence. Today’s Guest Sheena Yap Chan. seechangehappen.co.uk

Careers Growth Confidence

Joanne Lockwood is joined by Sheena Yap Chan to explore what persistence really looks like behind the scenes—moving past the myth of overnight success and continuing to take action through rejection, setbacks, and self-doubt.

Sheena shares how confidence can be rebuilt by understanding the root causes of fear and limiting beliefs, including childhood experiences, trauma, and cultural expectations. The conversation examines how social media comparison and perfectionism can damage self-worth, why vulnerability and authenticity matter, and how support—through communities, mentoring, and professional help—can accelerate growth.

They also discuss broader systemic pressures, including gender double standards at work, barriers to funding and leadership, and the importance of allies in shifting norms. Throughout, the focus stays on practical mindset shifts, staying connected to purpose, and persisting long enough for personal growth to translate into professional impact.

About Sheena Yap Chan

One-sentence summary

Sheena Yap Chan’s life is a testament to this truth: if you are willing to face your wounds, claim your voice and keep going when it’s uncomfortable, you don’t just change your own story — you change what’s possible for others.

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Synopsis

Sheena grew up between Chinese and Filipino traditions, in a conservative Asian household shaped by expectations of obedience, perfection and silence. As a girl in Toronto in the early 1990s, she rarely saw anyone in the media who looked like her. She remembers feeling ashamed of her culture, wishing for different skin, different hair, different features — anything that might help her feel accepted. At five, she failed kindergarten for colouring outside the lines, and that single moment lodged itself in her body as proof that she was “wrong”. Years later, she would reframe it: “I wasn’t a failure. I was just meant to colour outside the lines.”

What Sheena is trying to change is not simply confidence levels — it is the quiet inheritance of trauma, silence and invisibility. She believes many women, especially women of colour, are taught to shrink: to be the perfect daughter, wife, mother; to never rock the boat; to never make noise. She refuses that script. By speaking up — even when it’s uncomfortable — she is building representation where she once saw none. She wants women to feel seen, to know their scars are story, not shame, and to understand that healing themselves is not selfish — it is generational repair.

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10 Small, digestible concepts for easy learning

1. Persistence is not loud — it’s daily.

It’s showing up long after the applause fades and the feedback is silent.

2. Mistakes are not proof you are broken.

Sometimes they are redirection, not rejection.

3. Confidence is innate; conditioning buries it.

We are born bold — society teaches us to hesitate.

4. Unhealed trauma will run your life quietly.

If you don’t name it, it will still shape your choices.

5. Representation is medicine.

Seeing someone like you succeed softens the belief that you can’t.

6. Preparation can become procrastination.

Especially for women taught to be perfect before they begin.

7. Purpose sustains you when motivation disappears.

When you remember why, you can tolerate the how.

8. Perfection is a cultural construct, not a human truth.

Flaws are evidence of being alive, not evidence of inadequacy.

9. Silence protects systems, not people.

Breaking it feels risky — and necessary.

10. You don’t have to know everything to begin.

Most people are simply figuring it out in public.

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The “why” in the story

What they believe is true about people

Sheena believes every person is born confident and capable. We lose that belief when shame, criticism and cultural expectations pile on top.

What they cannot unsee

She cannot unsee the absence of Asian women in media, the stereotype of the “quiet, submissive” woman, the generational transfer of unspoken trauma, or the way women are punished for speaking up.

What they are no longer willing to tolerate

She is no longer willing to tolerate silence dressed up as obedience, perfection used as control, or women being told to shrink to be acceptable.

What they are trying to build instead

She is building platforms where women are visible, imperfect and vocal — spaces where healing precedes confidence, and where colour outside the lines is celebrated.

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Narrative structure

1. The trigger

Growing up without role models who looked like her. Failing kindergarten for colouring outside the lines. Feeling ashamed of her own culture. Watching negative stereotypes repeated again and again.

2. The tension

The pull between cultural expectations to stay quiet and her urge to speak. The double standards women face — too loud, too soft, too aggressive, too weak. The exhaustion of pushing systems that seem slow to change.

3. The insight

Before building confidence, you must heal what fractured it. “I can show you a million ways to build confidence, but if you’re still working through trauma, it’s not gonna be beneficial.”

4. The pivot

In 2015, even without knowing how it would work, she created her own platform. If representation didn’t exist, she would build it. She chose purpose over certainty.

5. The destination

A world where girls do not internalise shame at six years old. Where women see themselves reflected in leadership and media. Where confidence feels ordinary, not radical.

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Five key takeaways and learning points

1. Heal before you hustle.

So what: Confidence built on unhealed wounds collapses under pressure.

2. Start before you’re ready.

So what: Waiting for perfection delays the very growth you need.

3. Your story might be someone else’s permission slip.

So what: When you speak honestly, you reduce someone else’s isolation.

4. Culture shapes you — it doesn’t have to cage you.

So what: You can honour your roots without inheriting their limitations.

5. Purpose protects persistence.

So what: When doubt creeps in, remembering who you’re doing it for keeps you steady.

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Ten distinct ideas explained

1. Intergenerational trauma lives in silence.

Pain passed down without discussion becomes behaviour, fear, and self-doubt in the next generation.

2. Early shame creates long shadows.

A five-year-old being labelled a failure can shape a forty-year-old’s sense of worth.

3. Stereotypes make women smaller than they are.

Being seen as quiet and submissive invites both invisibility and exploitation.

4. Perfectionism is often fear in disguise.

When mistakes were punished, excellence becomes armour.

5. Social media masks struggle.

Curated success hides effort, rejection and anxiety — leaving others feeling behind.

6. Beauty standards profit from insecurity.

The constant pressure to be flawless keeps women spending, comparing, shrinking.

7. Double standards exhaust.

A confident man is admired; a confident woman is labelled. The emotional toll is constant self-monitoring.

8. Confidence needs strengthening, not inventing.

Like a muscle, it returns with use.

9. Purpose steadies identity.

When you know what you stand for, criticism feels less destabilising.

10. Representation changes nervous systems.

Seeing someone like you succeed reduces the physiological fear of trying.

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How people should change as a result

1. Think

  • Shift from “What’s wrong with me?” to “What happened to me?”
  • Replace “I’m not ready” with “I’ll learn as I go.”
  • See cultural norms as influences, not destiny.
  • View confidence as recoverable, not rare.
  • Understand that representation is not vanity — it is visibility.

2. Feel

  • Move from shame to curiosity about your past.
  • Shift from comparison to solidarity.
  • Replace defensiveness with reflection.
  • Move from isolation to connection.
  • Trade perfection for permission.

3. Act

  • Reflect on one childhood message that still shapes your behaviour.
  • Speak openly about a struggle instead of presenting polish.
  • Amplify a woman whose voice is often overlooked.
  • Seek professional or community support if trauma feels stuck.
  • Start the project you’ve been “preparing” for.
  • Define three core values and review decisions against them.
  • Show up imperfectly at least once this week.

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One thing to remember

You weren’t a failure for colouring outside the lines — you were meant to redraw them.

Connect with Sheena Yap Chan on LinkedIn →